she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
