Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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