both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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