Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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