If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
