Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
