well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
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