It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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