ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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