Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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