How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
