im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Randomize
