I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
