i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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