fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Randomize
