I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Dick very happy bro
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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