I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
