Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
