jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
