Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
