Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
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