how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
