I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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