We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
