you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
