we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
