did you get engaged???
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
