According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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