i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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