Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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