I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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