She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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