I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
