im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
the liver wants what the liver wants
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
