Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize