Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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