he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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