grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
