They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I would ride that face into the sunset
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
