I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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