it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
