I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
