I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
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We're using joints as your birthday candles
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
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We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
All the doctor said was why
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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