and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
