It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Did I show you my penis last night?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
