Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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