are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
