Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize