I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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