he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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