Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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