You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
