I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
