But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
