WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
