I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
