Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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