I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Are my feet made of real feet?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
i need some magic done to my vagina
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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