ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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