I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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