I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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