I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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