so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
