i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
